If your divorce is too expensive and going no where, this is typical. Mediation can help you to finish your divorce. This will save time and money. If you’ve been going back and forth with the lawyers for what feels like forever, it may be time to stop. Cut to the chase with divorce mediation, before being sucked dry- financially and emotionally.
What is Mediation?
Many people who have not been through the mediation process have only a vague idea of what mediation exactly is and why they should be considering it. Mediation is a form of Dispute Resolution. In the right people’s hands, it is an excellent way to streamline court cases. It is a process whereby people seek help from a neutral mediator to try and settle issues or concerns that they have not been able to resolve on their own. The conflict is generally the type that, if it is not resolved, will have to be decided by a judge. The process is meant to be mutual, cooperative and fair in the eyes of each party. It is an informal process usually held at the mediator’s office throughout the course of several sessions. It is a “future-oriented” process, which means that to increase the likelihood of success, the parties are asked to consider future events and try to move forward from the past. The goal of mediation is to reach a voluntary agreement.
What can be solved through divorce mediation
Mediation is a technique that can be used in the context of just about any type of dispute: in business, in family problems, in divorces, between neighbors, etc. Mediation is often used in the context of divorce or custody cases to help decide one or more issues that the parties just cannot seem to solve by themselves, such as:
- Allocation of parenting time & where the kids will live
- Property Division: Who Gets What
- What happens to The House?
- How to divide debt at the time of Divorce
- Division of Pension or other Retirement Benefits
- Financial Issues in Divorce
Mediation offers many benefits. Mediation offers parties the chance to sit down with a trained professional for the very specific purpose of crafting a solution that will move them one step further towards finalizing their case in court. Sometimes even people who want to work it out don’t know where to begin on their own and need the structure of mediation. Mediation helps set the tone for a less confrontational case and can help people learn techniques to better communicate with each other in the future. A successful mediation will avoid the need for a trial (money pit!). Aside from fully litigated trials being extremely expensive, if your case goes to trial, you lose a certain degree of control. You will both be “stuck” with the decision of the judge and in all likelihood, someone will not be happy. Even if you feel that you can live with a judge’s decision, people are generally happier when the outcome of their case is one that was at least in part, designed by them and not forced upon them by the courts.
Why I quit handling divorces and believe that mediation is the way to go
I practiced divorce law for nearly 20 years and got sick and tired of all of the game playing that I saw going on with most other lawyers that I had to deal with. They often would pay little attention to the case until the day before court, put in little work, and then ask for continuances. This ran up everyone’s bill, wasting precious time and emotional energy for those going through it. Or, when they would do the work, they often encouraged clients to keep fighting just for the sake of fighting. Cases would drag on for years when they didn’t have to. For reasons that I can’t explain, things got worse and worse in terms of what I saw going on with my opponents and people in general. I couldn’t stomach it anymore. I decided to instead focus my knowledge of family law into mediation, where clients could be much better served and removed from the shenanigans of typical divorce litigation.
I, Carol O’Connor Cadiz, am not only an attorney but also received training in 2009 in divorce and custody mediation through the Mediation Training and Consultation Institute of Ann Arbor, Michigan. I am also a certified mediator for The Court Ordered Mediation For Civil Cases Program of the Eighteenth Judicial Circuit Court in DuPage County, Illinois. Regardless of where in Illinois your case is filed, if you are looking for a mediator with offices in the Chicago suburban area, feel free to call us at 630 250-8813. Mediations are conducted at our Itasca office.
Learn more with Carol’s free essential guide to divorce mediation.