Valentines Day is hard for people going through a divorce but harder for people who have to try and fake it because they haven't told their spouse that what they really want is a divorce. According to the New York Post and Avvo, divorce filings pick up dramatically after Valentine's Day. It could be that people are waiting to see how their spouse behaves on Valentines Day but in my opinion, if that is what you are going to base it on then the marriage is already dead. Sometimes people ask me how they should behave on Valentine's Day around their spouse if the other person has absolutely no idea that thoughts of divorce are swarming in their head. Of course, that is not a legal question and really, it all depends on the couple of course. That being said, having spoken to people about divorce day in and day out since the 1990's, I can tell you that like a troubled marriage, divorce is hard for everyone. Don't rub salt into the wound by telling your spouse that you want out ON Valentine's Day. While there is no good time for it and I just tell people to do what they have to do and be honest when it comes to bringing up divorce, why do it on February 14th? Because, you may be thinking, I don't want to be a hypocrite and pretend that everything is rosy and lovely when its most definitely not. I get it. Don't pretend. What would I do? I think I would make myself conveniently unavailable on Valentine's Day. I'd have to work late, babysit for a friend who was having an emergency, wash my hair... you get the idea. I can't think of anything harder on Valentine's Day than to have to sit in a fancy restaurant surrounded by couples holding hands across the table, thinking about divorcing the person across the table who has no clue. If you know that you need to put in some time with your spouse, perhaps you can keep it low key and go to a movie or spend it together around other people. Use your best judgment, get through the day (you will!) and if divorce is what you want, don't delay the inevitable any longer.
If you are considering divorce and live in the Chicago area, don't wonder what your rights are or what could happen. I offer comprehensive consultations for those considering divorce in either one of my offices in Schaumburg or Itasca.