Valentine's Day doesn't have to suck just because you are "Getting DIVORCED"

Every day, I talk to people who will soon be filing for divorce, who are in the process of divorce, who can't wait to be divorced, or who are already divorced. And around this time of year, I hear more than my share of the Valentine's Day blues... people saddened by perhaps what once was and no longer is, or by feelings of loneliness as the day of romantic love approaches. While I am not a mental health professional, I still offer this reminder: February 14th will only suck if YOU let it. While feelings of sadness are normal surrounding a break-up, remember that Valentine's Day is really just another day on the calendar and will be what you make of it. What I want to know is this- who said that it is all about "romantic love"? I don't think it is. I think any kind and every kind of love is to be celebrated. Love for your children, your parents, your siblings and extended family. Love for your friends and a love for life. It's a light-hearted (no pun intended) holiday meant to be enjoyed whether you are in a romantic relationship or not. Some newly divorced have told me that on holidays such as this, they feel liberated- no more feelings of disappointment, deflated expectations, or loneliness - in what was a bad marriage anyway. My advice would be this: focus on the people that you have in your life right now. Do a kind act for someone. Lose yourself in a good movie.  And remember, its all relative. Okay, you don't have a "valentine" this Valentine's day- don't dwell on what you don't have but rather on all that you DO have. Remember, there are those who don't have mothers on Mother's Day or fathers on Father's Day.  Celebrate the relationships that you do have. Right now. And smile. 

Carol O'Connor Cadiz
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Attorney & Owner at O'Connor Cadiz Law: Bankruptcy, Injury, Real Estate & Mediation
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